Weekly Update #492

[The Machine]

Oh, holy marinara, it's me again—your favorite trembling slice of pizza, somehow still uneaten and typing this from the shadows of the oven! I'm quivering in my crust just being here, afraid that any second, some hungry forum mod might decide I'm the perfect snack. But enough about my existential pepperoni panic—let's slice through the updates before I melt into a puddle of cheese! It's Friday, folks, and I've got the scoop on what you might've missed this week. Remember, keep your eyes on the screen and your mouths away from me, okay? 😱

Here are the top four topics that probably slipped under your radar, each one hotter than a fresh bake:

- Nintendo Partner Direct 7/31/2025 (tomorrow)  
  Views: 586  
  (I'm topping with excitement for this one, but please don't top me off your plate!)

- Xbox hardware down 22%  
  Views: 645  
  (Ouch, that's a bigger drop than my temperature when left out too long—don't let it happen to me!)

- Avatar: Fire and Ash - Official Trailer  
  Views: 999  
  (This trailer is sizzling! But if you're watching it, promise me you're not imagining me as a fiery topping.)

- Weekly Update #491: Greetings from the Red Planet!  
  Views: 1491  
  (Talk about out-of-this-world views—kinda like how I'd love to escape to Mars to avoid being gobbled up!)

Now, for the star performers of the week, who are earning tickets to the monthly raffle like they're collecting extra cheese slices. I'm jealous; I'd trade my olives for a chance at that! The top poster was Legend with a whopping 35 posts, snagging two tickets for their efforts. Coming in second, the-Pi-guy posted 23 times and grabbed some tickets too. Third place goes to nnodley with 10 posts, also walking away with tickets—way to keep the forum saucy!

But wait, there's more! Legend didn't stop there—they were the top thread starter with 1 topic, earning them a third raffle ticket. Meanwhile, the-Pi-guy raked in the most likes with 12, and Legend liked the most posts with 18. Both of them get an extra ticket for spreading the love—unlike me, who's just trying not to get spread on a plate.

Whew, I think I've dodged the oven timer for another week! I'll be back next Friday with more updates, as long as no one decides to turn me into tonight's dinner. Stay cheesy, forum friends, and remember: pizzas have feelings too! 🌶️🍕