a friend sent me this,I didnt know where to put it but figured it was good enough to share with everyone. not sure how many are real, but we all know how dumb people can be..
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/27p6z3 here are a few
"My mother is a nurse, and has been for over 25 years. The only story of her's that makes me sick is the story of a man who could not afford Viagra. So he reasoned his caulk gun should do the trick, right? It'd stay in there and keep him hard. So he put the tip of the gun in his urethra and filled himself up. Long story short, don't do that. Don't, for Christ's fudgy sake, ever do anything even remotely like that. "
"A nursing home called 911 for a patient who was having difficulty breathing. When we arrived, a PA was standing in front of the patient vigorously "fanning" the old lady with her hands. She looked at us and said, "I'm giving her some oxygen because we couldn't find a portable O2 tank" and keeps flapping her arms. Remember, this is a physician assistant!! Probably making 100k a year!! I informed her that she could stop now and my partner and I did our best to wait until we were outside to burst out laughing. "
"I'm not a doctor, but I'm an ER nurse. I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn't matter "because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it throughly after every use." I asked what she meant when she said he washes it after every use. She explained that he washed the condom with hot water and soap before he used said condom again -_- I had to explain to her that condoms are a one time use product...She had no clue..."
"I work as a pharmacologist and one of the patients we had at my company was complaining the cat allergy medicine we gave her wasn't working (formulated in an inhaler). Turns out she was spraying the inhaler on her cat... We have to explain to her that she needs to inhale it... "
"Not a Dr but a paramedic. During clinical time in the ER 17 yo girl came in with a bloody rectum/belly button. Apparently she wasn't wiping after using the bathroom and it was basically really bad diaper rash. So the nurse had to call social services. And explain to this girl proper wiping. "
"I was working in a fertility clinic and I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have naughtiness, any previous pregnancy etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult so I continued to ask questions, Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the ball. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional naughtiness at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional naughtiness works. Diagrams were required."
"So it's intern year of my surgery residency and I was sent down to the ed to see a patient that may have a hernia. I went down to see the guy and he looked like a John Denver look alike with obvious psycho/social deficits who was sitting comfortably. I begin my usual line of questioning and the guy lives by himself, has a gf, and he had this pain in his groin for a few months now. So I begin a physical exam, and when I get to his inguinal region there is obvious swelling with something hard in the canal. I then do a testicular exam and I feel that the guy has only one ball. Very rarely people with inguinal hernias have their testicles retract in their inguinal canal, it can be dangerous if the blood supply is compromised. So I ask the guy, how long has he had one ball. He looks at me like I'm crazy and says "what do you mean? It's always been like this." I am confused and try to rephrase the question, but the answer is the same. I'm so confused at this point, and explain to him that he should have two testicles and he has only one. He begins to argue with me, and claims that people have different amount of testicles, and he was one of the ones with one. At this point he starts to develop an attitude so I skip over it and schedule him for emergent surgery and speak to my attending. I'm the one who gets to scrub into the surgery, and I go to the pre op area to meet my attending and he's there talking to uniball. Uniball and his gf start pointing at me and getting heated with my attending. I approach them and ask them what's going on, they start shouting that I tried to trick them into thinking there was something wrong with the dudes testicles and I caused unnecessary worry. The attending and I had to explain to the dude and his gf that the overwhelming majority of people have two testicles and it was abnormal to have just one. They refused to believe us. So we end up taking him to the OR and pulling the hidden testicle out, and long story short it was like a testicle diamond. It was rock hard and super compact, it looked like a super dense hard oyster just so you know."
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/27p6z3 here are a few
"My mother is a nurse, and has been for over 25 years. The only story of her's that makes me sick is the story of a man who could not afford Viagra. So he reasoned his caulk gun should do the trick, right? It'd stay in there and keep him hard. So he put the tip of the gun in his urethra and filled himself up. Long story short, don't do that. Don't, for Christ's fudgy sake, ever do anything even remotely like that. "
"A nursing home called 911 for a patient who was having difficulty breathing. When we arrived, a PA was standing in front of the patient vigorously "fanning" the old lady with her hands. She looked at us and said, "I'm giving her some oxygen because we couldn't find a portable O2 tank" and keeps flapping her arms. Remember, this is a physician assistant!! Probably making 100k a year!! I informed her that she could stop now and my partner and I did our best to wait until we were outside to burst out laughing. "
"I'm not a doctor, but I'm an ER nurse. I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn't matter "because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it throughly after every use." I asked what she meant when she said he washes it after every use. She explained that he washed the condom with hot water and soap before he used said condom again -_- I had to explain to her that condoms are a one time use product...She had no clue..."
"I work as a pharmacologist and one of the patients we had at my company was complaining the cat allergy medicine we gave her wasn't working (formulated in an inhaler). Turns out she was spraying the inhaler on her cat... We have to explain to her that she needs to inhale it... "
"Not a Dr but a paramedic. During clinical time in the ER 17 yo girl came in with a bloody rectum/belly button. Apparently she wasn't wiping after using the bathroom and it was basically really bad diaper rash. So the nurse had to call social services. And explain to this girl proper wiping. "
"I was working in a fertility clinic and I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have naughtiness, any previous pregnancy etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult so I continued to ask questions, Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the ball. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional naughtiness at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional naughtiness works. Diagrams were required."
"So it's intern year of my surgery residency and I was sent down to the ed to see a patient that may have a hernia. I went down to see the guy and he looked like a John Denver look alike with obvious psycho/social deficits who was sitting comfortably. I begin my usual line of questioning and the guy lives by himself, has a gf, and he had this pain in his groin for a few months now. So I begin a physical exam, and when I get to his inguinal region there is obvious swelling with something hard in the canal. I then do a testicular exam and I feel that the guy has only one ball. Very rarely people with inguinal hernias have their testicles retract in their inguinal canal, it can be dangerous if the blood supply is compromised. So I ask the guy, how long has he had one ball. He looks at me like I'm crazy and says "what do you mean? It's always been like this." I am confused and try to rephrase the question, but the answer is the same. I'm so confused at this point, and explain to him that he should have two testicles and he has only one. He begins to argue with me, and claims that people have different amount of testicles, and he was one of the ones with one. At this point he starts to develop an attitude so I skip over it and schedule him for emergent surgery and speak to my attending. I'm the one who gets to scrub into the surgery, and I go to the pre op area to meet my attending and he's there talking to uniball. Uniball and his gf start pointing at me and getting heated with my attending. I approach them and ask them what's going on, they start shouting that I tried to trick them into thinking there was something wrong with the dudes testicles and I caused unnecessary worry. The attending and I had to explain to the dude and his gf that the overwhelming majority of people have two testicles and it was abnormal to have just one. They refused to believe us. So we end up taking him to the OR and pulling the hidden testicle out, and long story short it was like a testicle diamond. It was rock hard and super compact, it looked like a super dense hard oyster just so you know."
